I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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