The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
