apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
