Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
