Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
