there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize