please come you make the beer taste better
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
