Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
