p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Vodka?
Forever.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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