You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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