I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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