Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
