I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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