What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
