Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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