He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
