You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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