A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My bed smells like the plague
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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