dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
