how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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