IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize