I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she smelled like a LAN party
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
i believe in u and ur pee
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
