dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize