jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
