Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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