i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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