even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
