If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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