5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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