I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
