so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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