I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
