Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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