After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He kissed a someone with a penis
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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