JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
