am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
