I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
