Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
