She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
