..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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