Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize