I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize