Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I didn't shave. On purpose
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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