blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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