I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
