I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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