I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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