paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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