what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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