My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
