I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
