Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
