"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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