and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
that is very illegal...i love you.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
