We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
