yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Even my vagina gasped.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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