How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
