I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
