i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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