I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
