I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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