The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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