That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Shame is for Republicans.
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