Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
